Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Faux-hawk Faux-pas

I typically restrict all of my posts to the topic of men's style, particularly clothing. I never wanted this blog to be about say, some great sushi that I had last week,  or a fascinating article I might've read in the paper about Indonesian currency policy. But this post is a bit off the beaten path.
I'm sure you're all familiar with the faux-hawk hairstyle, made famous by David Beckham at the 2002 World Cup. The haircut became wildly popular in the ensuing years to come, especially in Europe.

There are many variations on the style but essentially, the hairstyle is shorter (if not shaved) on the sides and thicker/fuller in the centre of the head.

Obviously, the word "faux-hawk" is a not-so-clever play on the word "Mohawk", implying that the hairstyle is a sort of false Mohawk.

I've begun to notice a disturbing trend of guys sporting fawx-hawks even though they're balding in the crown of their heads.  These poor saps have no idea how foolish they look. If you're going to shave the side of your head and leave the middle part thicker, you will obviously draw attention to the centre portion of your head--and it better not be bald.  Also, if you're balding, you're probably too old to be sporting a faux-hawk anyways.

I saw some putz at the gym guilty of this offence and I couldn't resist surreptitiously snapping a photo of him (although admittedly it isn't very clear).   The sides of his head are actually shaved in a diamond pattern --this doesn't show up in the picture-- but you can clearly see that he is thinning in his crown. As Mr. T says: "I pity the fool!"

To me, this haircut is almost as bad as those bald guys who sport mullets as if to say "Ladies, I may be balding, but I can still grow a sexy mane of hair!ROARRR!"

I don't mean to pick on bald guys, just those who make poor choices. Pick up any men's magazine and they'll be chock full of suggestions of how best to style a balding head whether it's a receding hairline or a thinning crown.

-The Scandal

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