Sunday, March 25, 2012

Top 5 most affected items in Menswear

A man who cares about style always wants to dress well without looking like he's trying too hard. His style should be --or at least come off as -- an effortless expression of his personhood. But how does he pass off something to which he obviously devoted considerable thought, as completely natural? Ah! Therein lies the rub.

This list is a compilation of menswear items that, if worn, are virtually guaranteed to ensure that a man looks like a pretentious tool.

4. Overly hemmed/cuffed pants

The hemlines in men's pants and jeans have gotten higher and higher during the past 3-4 years or so. High-rolled cuffs are also trending hard.

Originally an eccentric trend arguably started by Thom Browne and eagerly adopted by hipsters, it's now so mainstream that all the suits in GQ photo spreads feature high cut pants.

I don't mind men messing around with their hemline to flash a bit of sock (or bare ankle), or rolling up their cuffs, but this trend has now spun out of control.

So if you think rolling up your pants or cutting them mid-shin will instantly turn you into Nick Wooster, I'm afraid you will simply look like a gimmicky pretender.

3. Scarves worn indoors

Scarves are a great addition to any man's wardrobe--when worn properly. And  "properly" necessarily entails that they should almost always only be worn outdoors and not indoors, especially if it's a wool scarf.

                                             Photo copyrighted to The Sartorialist 

But there is no justification in having an otherwise uncomfortable and itchy giant pile of fabric worn around your neck unless the cold weather so dictates. A scarf with a t-shirt? How about a speedo with combat boots?

Sadly, like adding hot water to Ramen noodles, many men think they can instantly dress up their outfit  by simply donning a scarf. They are wrong.

2. Wool/Winter hats

Same deal as with scarves: some hats can look good outdoors, but most look silly indoors. I've posted before about men's hats generally, and also about my special hatred towards slouchie hats, especially when worn indoors.

I've also noticed some pretentious douches wearing winter hats, such as toques, indoors in a nightclub. Though they may think "peacock", everybody else thinks "pigeon droppings".

1. Gloves (indoors)

Do I really have to explain why anyone wearing gloves indoors looks foolish ? Didn't think so.

I've seen my share of self-anointed fashionistas with their sleeves rolled up in order to accentuate their leather gloves. The only people who can wear gloves indoors are surgeons, Luke Skywalker and the "rent-is-too-damn-high" guy.

-The Scandal