Sunday, June 10, 2012

Introduction to the Douchester

Taxonomists grow excited over the discovery of new hybrid species.

Today, I introduce to you a new hybrid species of urban male: the "Douchester".

The Douchester is the hybrid offspring of two well-known urban species, the hispter and the douchebag.
The much maligned douchebag is known for his excessive, flamboyant and tacky displays of machismo, which ironically, come across as effete.

The male hispter is the more recent counterbalance to the douchebag, and is known for his contemplative irony and disdain for male vanities such as a clean-shaven face.

Whence the douchster? He is admittedly rarer than either of his two parent species, but he is gaining in vigour. His credo is to adopt the strident, vain masculinity of the douchebag, yet to downplay his Adonis-like nature by adopting certain arty and ironic affectations associated with the hipster (such as a mustache or thick-rimmed glasses).

Sadly, the Douchester has not yet been widely photographed, so I am posting the closest approximation that I could fine.

The douchester in the pictures above was the subject of a Reddit post a few months back. Redditors (Reddit users) initially panned the guy as a douchebag, and therefore worthy of their condemnation, however when certain Redditors suggested that he may be simply be gay, some Redditors backed off since it was far beneath them to criticize  anyone "dressing gay".

In retrospect, their confusion is understandable. They simply were not familiar with the Douchster.

-The Scandal

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